Sunday, February 1, 2015

Ground Hog Day

I had my stroke five years ago on Ground Hog day.

I don't think I realized that my life had probably changed forever. How can anyone be prepared for such a radical change? Mercifully, I was in a fog. Also, I was also focused on getting through every day.

The fog is still clearing. I have made huge progress in five years. Daily life is still frustrating, but my life is OK. In fact, I have some pretty great days. I'm not so overwhelmed by fatigue every day. Although it might sound strange, I enjoy many of the challenges of recovery.

I still feel guilty about making all this extra work for my husband. But, as he has said many times, it's not like I asked for a stroke. I also get really sad about the time I've missed with my kids. But when I look at photos of them with my extended family, I get teary: my children got so much love from all the other people in their lives.

On this anniversary, I'm going to make it official: I'm taking a break from blogging. I have so many projects that had been on hold, and now I finally have the energy to tackle some of them.

The blog has been great therapy.  I had just enough language and cognitive skills to get the blog going. It helped me work on my language, and it helped me feel connected with so many people. For a long time, it was hard for me to have a conversation in real time, but I could write--in a slow and painstaking way--about my altered life. The blog helped me to be heard.