Monday, May 2, 2011

Lost in Space

A few weeks ago, I ordered some new shoes to go with my new brace. Neal filmed me walking to try to figure out if I'm walking correctly with the new shoes.

When I watched the video, I was surprised. I looked liked a person who has a  limp, but it wasn't too bad. Sometimes I have a slight circular motion with every step. 

But with either new shoes or old, I feel like each step is stepping into the void. I have some sensation, but a bigger problem is this: I know my right leg is somewhere, but I don't know where. It's like my brain and my right leg are trying to call each other, but each call is met by static.

Isn't any wonder why I'm so tired?


  1. That is really cool that Neil filmed you. It really must have felt odd to watch yourself. Soon you will have people looking at your limp and asking you how long it has been since your knee replacement.

    I have found my proprioception issues are improving a lot with time. If you figure out a solution for the tiredness please let me know!

  2. As soon as I feel a little tired I lie down on my bed with the bedspread pulled up and my clothes/shoes/brace on. If I catch fatigue in the early stage, ten minutes is enough to restore my breathing to a slow deep rhythm. If I tough it out until I'm really tired it takes 30 to 60 minutes to recover. I'm a warrior who uses pre-emptive strikes to keep fatigue at bay.

  3. in the mirrored wall at the Y, I watch myself and am always dismayed at how my walk looks. I'm no longer using my brace, but that isn't the reason for my awkward gait. I can't bend my knee to raise my foot, so I'm pretty straight-legged.

  4. I'm really glad you explained this. On the outside, it really does look like you just have a small limp. We don't see all the work that your brain is doing, to move a part that you can't feel!

  5. It used to be my whole left arm was lost in space, but now it's just my hand. If I don't look at it, I can't tell where it is, if it's holding something or not. I have been working on a blog entry about this topic to try and answer people's questions about what it feels like. How do you explain something that feels like an absence? A lack of connection?